Status: editing Piper
F is for FearHonesty time! I've gotten almost zero editing done this week. I could blame it on LIFE STUFF, and it is true that this week has been a bit exceptionally stressful, but what's really holding me back is the fear of messing up. Of not getting things right. This isn't a first draft or a second draft, but a I-don't-even-know-what-number draft, and I'm incredibly attached to the story as well as the character at the center of it. There are events and moments within Piper's story that I just beyond love, and I'm scared of messing them up. I'm scared of making things worse. And most of all I'm scared that, at the end of all this editing, the book as a whole (not just Piper's half, but the two halves together) won't be as good as I want it to be, or even as good as it was a few drafts ago.
When I did my guest post on Nova Ren Suma's blog, on my (rather, one of my) turning point(s) as a writer, I talked about this novel. It's one that's been loosely in the works since I was fifteen or sixteen years old and I love it so much and I want to get it right and there's this fear that it might not happen.
So I've been putting off diving into the story. Sure, I edited the first two chapters but aside from one short scene, all that meant was changing a couple of character's names. Now I'm at the third chapter and knowing that I have to take a hacksaw to this thing has me stalling. And this is weird because fear is not something I'm used to dealing with where writing is concerned. Blank pages don't scare me. Knowing I have 50k or so ahead of me doesn't freak me out. But having a story I love? One I have to edit and re-edit, one that's good as-is but still needs to be so much better? That gets my attention. And I don't have any brilliant ideas on how to handle that, so I'm asking you -- any tips for dealing with the fear that comes with writing and/or editing?